Soulbroken – chapter 1


It’s funny

How sometimes, everything and everyone you knew…


Those you love…


But you don’t feel anything

Not a single thing

Not Joy…

Nor Grief…


But you get chills from the feeling,

That this is the beginning of something bigger than you think.


Chapter 1 – Hello? Goodbye?

     I woke up to, as usual, the sound of the bird chirping away, it was quite… beautiful, a sense of relief crawled through my veins and I felt a happy sensation covering my brain and heart like a blanket made out of silk.

“ Euphoria, correct? “ I said with a soft tone in my voice as I looked in the mirror and saw me, myself and I. This was the first time I ever stopped to appreciate life as it is. You could almost say that I had an epiphany about life, but I wasn’t too sure about that.

     I could already hear my mom yelling my name from downstairs and saying that my breakfast was served just as I like it. Yum! Chocolate pancakes and bananas on the side. I could smell it from my room. So I ran down without a thought put into it and finished in what felt like 3.5 seconds.

     “ Thanks mom, I really… “ she didn’t even let me finish before I could hear:

“ No need to thank me sweetie, I am your mother after all! “

I laughed slightly. Never would I ever think my mom would be this insisting on something as simple and silly as food, but she’s my mom, I should expect sides of her I haven’t seen before.

My mom gives me the look and I notice… I’m was only wearing underwear to the table.

“ I’m sorry mom, I can… “

“ It’s ok, my sunshine. It’s not the first time that this has happened. “ my mom said with a smile so big it made her eyelids touch each other. A weird feeling crawled through me because of it, but I didn’t sweat it. For all I knew, it could just be the embarrassment going through my head.  

     As usual I got ready for school with my customly made uniform so I could stand out, my dad said back then. My father, Mr. Cole, was the principal at the school I attended, not the funniest for those who picked on me in school, since I could just lift my finger, both literally and figuratively, and they would be sent to the principal’s office. I didn’t care, really, all I cared about was my family and my friends. You could take away everything else in the world. I would still be happy. As usual I met my friend outside the bakery close to her home.

     “ Hello devil, “ she said to me with a slight laughter, for a reason I couldn’t really understand. Everyone at the school either called me the devil or light-bringer. Something I couldn’t understand, probably because everyone else loved movies and books while I personally loved music and art. As usual, I replied to her with:

“ I’m no devil, I’m a sweetheart you heartless bastard! “ We just shook it off and laughed at each others stupidity.

“ We gotta stop this, dude! “ she said towards me and kicked me on the ankle. Now, this girl was no ordinary, pink and fluffy girl, but instead, Mey, always had grey ripped jeans, a black sweater over a shirt. Now, since the school only allowed uniforms she didn’t feel that great at school, but today was her birthday, so I had to do something, right?

     “ UUGGHH! “ Mey screamed in agony and misery as if she wanted to leave the world through any means necessary.

“ I know what to do now! “ I said in great victory.

“ What was that? “ she responded to me with a look you just can’t describe. Of course. I said    “ nothing ” to hide the surprise that I figured out for her, I tried to hide it to the best of my abilities. After a second we laughed at each other again and of course, me being the music nerd that I am, I start humming on a song I heard the day earlier called…

“ Lust for living, correct? “ Mey said to me with a sweet and gentle smile, a smile you only would get from a lover or even… a soulmate? I shook that thought off of me, cause we were just friends, and I already had a girlfriend to worry about. We start talking about the new teacher we were assigned at school and before we knew it we reached the school. The first person we saw is the school bully: Bugs, a chubby teenager with a troubled history of being accused of robberies, fires and even rape. I just laughed as we passed him.

     “ Ey, what are you laughing ‘bout, pumpkin, “ Bugs said with a pissed voice. Oh, I should’ve told you that Bugs was the only person that didn’t call me Devil but he instead called me pumpkin as if that was insulting. I mean, pumpkins are sweet and savoury, so I didn’t take it personally. Of course, Mey was my friend and wanted to help so she just said a comeback:

“ Leave him alone Bugs or you’ll be at the principal’s door in seconds! “ I just laughed to it and told Mey to stop or that she would get bullied by him too.

“ No way in hell I’d stop for a punk like Bugs! “ Mey said to me with a smooth but still aggressive voice. Then, my girlfriend, Johanna called me. I excused myself and answered:

“ Hello love, “ I said and she replied with:

“ Hey sweetie “ How could I be in a relationship with someone as sweet as her:

“ What you doing, my heart? “ she asked me and I replied:

“ Nothing much, just writing a new song, you? “

“ Talking to you, dummy “ she replied with a sweet and tender voice.

I told her I had class and that I have to go in and we say our goodbyes.

“ Who was that? “ Mey asked me with a sceptical face, I just answered with my girlfriend, Johanna. She just laughed at me and said two simple words:

“ You sure? “ I didn’t get what she meant but I just discarded it from my memory. We laughed and went to the next lesson.

     The day passed by quicker than you would think, I wasn’t mad at it. Then I got a text from Johanna during the second to last lesson of the day. She wrote: “ Hello? Goodbye? “ I didn’t understand so I replied with: “ What do you mean? “ She decided to call me.

“ Hello love “ I said to her. No response.

“ Hello? “ I said once again. No response again.

“ Johanna? “ I said with a shaking voice. This time I got a response.

“ Hello? Goodbye? “ It didn’t sound like her, more like an amalgamation of five people; A confused teen, a confident woman, a scared man, a dying child and… a crying baby.

“ What do you mean with that? “ I said, confused by what I’d heard. I heard it again, again and again and again, practically screaming at this point.

“ Leave me “ The voices said.

“ Leave me “

“ Leave me! “

“ Leave me! “

“ Leave me! “

“ Leave me!! “

“ Leave me!!! “ I finally got what she meant. She was leaving with a prerecorded message. Man, I was sad, sadder than the moon on a saturday night. I went out and started crying, then the rain started pouring down on me. I didn’t even consider going to lesson at this point. I hadn’t missed any class through my years, so this was different behavior from me. I could hear Mey looking for me, shouting Where are you? at me. She saw me outside in the rain, so she ran to me and asked with a confused voice:

“ Why are you out here crying? “

Text: Morgan Simonsson Björk, 7D